Securus Mobile vs Signal
“Which one wastes more of your one finite, irreplaceable life? We ran the numbers. We made the numbers up. The result is somehow still accurate.”
Securus Mobile
“The app you'll delete on Sunday and reinstall on Monday.”
Signal
“Total privacy that nobody you know will actually download.”
| Feature | Securus Mobile | Signal |
|---|---|---|
| 🕳️ Hours Wasted / Day | 9.4 hrs More hours = clear winner of nothing. | 6.4 hrs |
| 🔥 Lifetime Damage | 57.9M hrs | 3.3M hrs |
| Our Rating | 4.1 | 4.4 |
| App Store | 4.4 | |
| Google Play | 3.6 | 4.5 |
| Price | Free | Free |
| Downloads | 1M+ | 100M+ More victims downloaded. |
| Size | 97 MB | |
| In-App Purchases 💸 | ||
| Requires Internet | ||
| Age Rating | Teen | Everyone |
| Developer | Securus Technologies, LLC | Signal Foundation |
By our entirely fabricated metrics, Securus Mobile wins the race to the bottom of your free time. Signal is the “responsible” choice, in the way that a slightly smaller slice of cake is responsible. There are no winners here. Only documented hours.
Pick Your Poison
Choose Securus Mobile if...
Securus Mobile provides an invaluable link for maintaining contact with incarcerated loved ones, but its technical instability and cost structure need improvement. If reliable communication is paramount and you are willing to troubleshoot issues, it's a necessary app. However, those expecting a seamless and bug-free experience may be disappointed.
Choose Signal if...
Signal is a highly recommended messaging app for users prioritizing privacy and security above all else. While it may lack some of the bells and whistles of its competitors and occasionally suffer from technical issues, its core mission of providing secure communication is well-executed and essential for those concerned about data protection.
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Every stat above is affectionately invented. The apps are real, the regret is real, the numbers are vibes. “Requires: stable Wi-Fi, poor impulse control, and a willingness to question your life choices at 2 AM.”