We Made This Instead of Working.
AskApp.top is a satirical app catalog. Everything here is made for entertainment and educational purposes. The statistics are mostly made up. The regret is very real.
AskApp.top is a satirical, non-commercial project. Every statistic, ranking, addiction score, “hours wasted” counter and developer confession on this site is fictional and wildly exaggerated for comedic and educational effect. All app names, logos and trademarks belong to their respective owners. We are not affiliated with, endorsed by, or speaking for any of the apps featured here. If you came looking for real download numbers, you took a wrong turn, but stay anyway.
A parody review site for the apps that quietly run your life. Think The Onion, but for the little rectangle that knows you better than your friends do. The format is real. The numbers are theatre.
Not factual reporting. Not medical, legal, or financial advice. Not a source you should ever cite in anything that matters. If a number here ends up in your thesis, that is a you problem.
Underneath the jokes we are poking at real themes: screen time, digital wellbeing, and the attention economy that turns “just one second” into a lost afternoon. Satire is just criticism wearing a costume.
We are not selling you anything. No affiliate links, no sponsored rankings, no revenue, no premium tier hiding the good jokes. The only thing we monetize is our own free time, poorly.
We Built This While Procrastinating
It started with two people doom-scrolling TikTok, at the same time, on the same couch, while loudly complaining to each other about how much time people waste doom-scrolling TikTok. The irony was not lost on us. It was simply ignored, like every screen-time warning before it.
So we did the responsible thing and built an entire website instead of addressing the problem. We invented statistics. We assigned addiction scores to apps that had done nothing to deserve them. We wrote developer confessions no developer would ever sign. Every number here was born from a spreadsheet and a grudge.
Estimated hours spent building AskApp.top: 847. Hours we should have spent on other things: also 847. We regret nothing. (This is a lie.)
All app names, logos and trademarks featured on AskApp.top belong to their respective owners. Their inclusion here is commentary, criticism and parody and nothing more. We are not affiliated with, sponsored by, or endorsed by any of these companies. If you represent one of them and would like a word, email hello@askapp.top before doing anything dramatic.