Monument Valley vs Pikmin Bloom
“Which one wastes more of your one finite, irreplaceable life? We ran the numbers. We made the numbers up. The result is somehow still accurate.”
Monument Valley
“A tiny rectangle that knows you better than your friends.”
| Feature | Monument Valley | Pikmin Bloom |
|---|---|---|
| 🕳️ Hours Wasted / Day | 5.0 hrs | 5.8 hrs More hours = clear winner of nothing. |
| 🔥 Lifetime Damage | 183K hrs | 1.3B hrs |
| Our Rating | 4.6 | 4.6 |
| App Store | 4.8 | |
| Google Play | 4.9 | 4.7 |
| Price | $3.99 | Free |
| Downloads | 5M+ | 5M+ |
| Size | 309 MB | |
| In-App Purchases 💸 | ||
| Requires Internet | ||
| Age Rating | Everyone | Everyone |
| Developer | ustwo games | Niantic, Inc. |
By our entirely fabricated metrics, Pikmin Bloom wins the race to the bottom of your free time. Monument Valley is the “responsible” choice, in the way that a slightly smaller slice of cake is responsible. There are no winners here. Only documented hours.
Pick Your Poison
Choose Monument Valley if...
Monument Valley is essential for puzzle enthusiasts and art lovers who prioritize quality over quantity, but budget-conscious gamers seeking lengthy content should wait for a sale or subscribe to Play Pass. It's perfect for short commutes, travel without WiFi, or relaxing evening sessions, though those wanting complex narrative depth or extensive challenge may find it lacking.
Choose Pikmin Bloom if...
Pikmin Bloom is a charming and motivating pedometer game for those seeking a casual way to increase their daily activity. However, be prepared for potential technical issues and the temptation of in-app purchases if you want to maximize its features; those with older phones should be cautious.
Get Monument Valley
Get Pikmin Bloom
Every stat above is affectionately invented. The apps are real, the regret is real, the numbers are vibes. “Requires: stable Wi-Fi, poor impulse control, and a willingness to question your life choices at 2 AM.”