Hello, Mario! vs Super Mario Run
“Which one wastes more of your one finite, irreplaceable life? We ran the numbers. We made the numbers up. The result is somehow still accurate.”
Hello, Mario!
“Designed to be opened once. Statistically, it won't be.”
Super Mario Run
“Where your free time goes to die, beautifully.”
| Feature | Hello, Mario! | Super Mario Run |
|---|---|---|
| 🕳️ Hours Wasted / Day | 3.3 hrs | 6.5 hrs More hours = clear winner of nothing. |
| 🔥 Lifetime Damage | 380K hrs | 5.8M hrs |
| Our Rating | 4.6 | 4.0 |
| App Store | 4.7 | 3.7 |
| Google Play | 4.7 | 3.9 |
| Price | Free | Free |
| Downloads | 50K+ | 100M+ More victims downloaded. |
| Size | 137 MB | 409 MB |
| In-App Purchases 💸 | ||
| Requires Internet | ||
| Age Rating | Everyone | Everyone |
| Developer | Nintendo Co., Ltd. | Nintendo Co., Ltd. |
By our entirely fabricated metrics, Hello, Mario! wins the race to the bottom of your free time. Super Mario Run is the “responsible” choice, in the way that a slightly smaller slice of cake is responsible. There are no winners here. Only documented hours.
Pick Your Poison
Choose Hello, Mario! if...
Hello, Mario! is a delightful and stress-free app, ideal for introducing young children to the world of Mario in a safe and entertaining way. While its simplicity might not appeal to older gamers seeking depth, its free-to-play nature and nostalgic charm make it a worthwhile download for parents and Mario enthusiasts alike.
Choose Super Mario Run if...
Super Mario Run is a decent mobile adaptation of Mario, offering a streamlined but enjoyable experience. If you're a casual Mario fan looking for a quick and easy time-waster, it's worth a try, especially if you're willing to pay the price to unlock the full game. Gamers expecting a deep, console-like Mario experience might find it lacking.
Get Hello, Mario!
Get Super Mario Run
Every stat above is affectionately invented. The apps are real, the regret is real, the numbers are vibes. “Requires: stable Wi-Fi, poor impulse control, and a willingness to question your life choices at 2 AM.”