Grubhub vs Uber Eats
“Which one wastes more of your one finite, irreplaceable life? We ran the numbers. We made the numbers up. The result is somehow still accurate.”
Grubhub
“A tiny rectangle that knows you better than your friends.”
Uber Eats
“Pay restaurant prices, plus delivery, plus service, plus a fee for the fee, for cold fries.”
| Feature | Grubhub | Uber Eats |
|---|---|---|
| 🕳️ Hours Wasted / Day | 5.0 hrs | 7.3 hrs More hours = clear winner of nothing. |
| 🔥 Lifetime Damage | 176K hrs | 35.8M hrs |
| Our Rating | 4.4 | 4.4 |
| App Store | ||
| Google Play | 4.5 | 4.6 |
| Price | Free | Free |
| Downloads | 10M+ | 100M+ More victims downloaded. |
| Size | ||
| In-App Purchases 💸 | ||
| Requires Internet | ||
| Age Rating | Everyone | Everyone |
| Developer | Grubhub | Uber Technologies, Inc. |
By our entirely fabricated metrics, Uber Eats wins the race to the bottom of your free time. Grubhub is the “responsible” choice, in the way that a slightly smaller slice of cake is responsible. There are no winners here. Only documented hours.
Pick Your Poison
Choose Grubhub if...
Grubhub can be a convenient option for food delivery if you're ordering a large meal and prioritize variety. However, be prepared for potential issues with delivery times, order accuracy, and customer service, especially if you're not ordering a large meal regularly.
Choose Uber Eats if...
Uber Eats is a decent option for food delivery when convenience is paramount, but be prepared for potential issues with pricing, order accuracy, and customer support. If you value consistent service and predictable costs, exploring alternative delivery apps or ordering directly may be beneficial.
Get Grubhub
Get Uber Eats
Every stat above is affectionately invented. The apps are real, the regret is real, the numbers are vibes. “Requires: stable Wi-Fi, poor impulse control, and a willingness to question your life choices at 2 AM.”