Facebook vs NGL: ask me anything
“Which one wastes more of your one finite, irreplaceable life? We ran the numbers. We made the numbers up. The result is somehow still accurate.”
“Birthday reminders and a feed of relatives' political theories, optimized to keep you scrolling.”
NGL: ask me anything
“Anonymous 'questions' that are mostly your own friends being weird at 1 AM.”
| Feature | NGL: ask me anything | |
|---|---|---|
| 🕳️ Hours Wasted / Day | 4.2 hrs | 4.9 hrs More hours = clear winner of nothing. |
| 🔥 Lifetime Damage | 2.2B hrs | 11.5M hrs |
| Our Rating | 4.5 | 4.6 |
| App Store | 4.5 | 4.8 |
| Google Play | 4.6 | 4.6 |
| Price | Free | Free |
| Downloads | 10B+ | 100M+ More victims downloaded. |
| Size | 393 MB | 142 MB |
| In-App Purchases 💸 | ||
| Requires Internet | ||
| Age Rating | Teen | Teen |
| Developer | Meta Platforms, Inc. | NGL App |
By our entirely fabricated metrics, NGL: ask me anything wins the race to the bottom of your free time. Facebook is the “responsible” choice, in the way that a slightly smaller slice of cake is responsible. There are no winners here. Only documented hours.
Pick Your Poison
Choose Facebook if...
Despite its widespread use and range of features, Facebook is showing its age. If you need to stay connected to a large network of contacts, the app is a necessary evil; however, users seeking a cleaner, less ad-driven social experience should explore alternative platforms.
Choose NGL: ask me anything if...
NGL provides a unique platform for anonymous Q&A, but the value decreases greatly because of the number of possibly fake messages. If you enjoy receiving random, unfiltered thoughts from others and don't mind the potential for fake interactions, NGL is worth a try; otherwise, this might not appeal to you.
Get Facebook
Get NGL: ask me anything
Every stat above is affectionately invented. The apps are real, the regret is real, the numbers are vibes. “Requires: stable Wi-Fi, poor impulse control, and a willingness to question your life choices at 2 AM.”