Crossy Road vs Mr Autofire
“Which one wastes more of your one finite, irreplaceable life? We ran the numbers. We made the numbers up. The result is somehow still accurate.”
Crossy Road
“An endless street crossing where the only ending is a truck you mistimed by half a second.”
| Feature | Crossy Road | Mr Autofire |
|---|---|---|
| 🕳️ Hours Wasted / Day | 5.3 hrs More hours = clear winner of nothing. | 3.2 hrs |
| 🔥 Lifetime Damage | 616K hrs | 1.2B hrs |
| Our Rating | 4.5 | 4.5 |
| App Store | 4.7 | 4.7 |
| Google Play | 4.5 | 4.5 |
| Price | Free | Free |
| Downloads | 100M+ More victims downloaded. | 10M+ |
| Size | 246 MB | 396 MB |
| In-App Purchases 💸 | ||
| Requires Internet | ||
| Age Rating | Everyone | Everyone 10+ |
| Developer | HIPSTER WHALE | Lightheart Entertainment |
By our entirely fabricated metrics, Crossy Road wins the race to the bottom of your free time. Mr Autofire is the “responsible” choice, in the way that a slightly smaller slice of cake is responsible. There are no winners here. Only documented hours.
Pick Your Poison
Choose Crossy Road if...
Crossy Road remains a must-download for casual gaming fans who enjoy quick, satisfying gameplay loops and character collection mechanics. It's ideal for commuters, anxiety management, or anyone seeking a distraction that respects their time without demanding money. However, players with low data caps or low tolerance for mobile advertising should either enable airplane mode or purchase the ad removal pack immediately to avoid frustration.
Choose Mr Autofire if...
Mr Autofire is a fun and addictive game for players who enjoy challenging action platformers with roguelike elements. However, those sensitive to aggressive monetization and potentially grindy gameplay should approach with caution. Casual players might find the energy system and difficulty spikes frustrating.
Get Crossy Road
Get Mr Autofire
Every stat above is affectionately invented. The apps are real, the regret is real, the numbers are vibes. “Requires: stable Wi-Fi, poor impulse control, and a willingness to question your life choices at 2 AM.”