Crossy Road vs Mario Kart Tour
“Which one wastes more of your one finite, irreplaceable life? We ran the numbers. We made the numbers up. The result is somehow still accurate.”
Crossy Road
“An endless street crossing where the only ending is a truck you mistimed by half a second.”
Mario Kart Tour
“A beloved kart racer wearing a gacha pipe, where your favorite character is a lottery pull.”
| Feature | Crossy Road | Mario Kart Tour |
|---|---|---|
| 🕳️ Hours Wasted / Day | 5.3 hrs More hours = clear winner of nothing. | 5.1 hrs |
| 🔥 Lifetime Damage | 616K hrs | 221.9M hrs |
| Our Rating | 4.5 | 4.4 |
| App Store | 4.7 | 4.7 |
| Google Play | 4.5 | 4.3 |
| Price | Free | Free |
| Downloads | 100M+ | 100M+ |
| Size | 246 MB | 252 MB |
| In-App Purchases 💸 | ||
| Requires Internet | ||
| Age Rating | Everyone | Everyone |
| Developer | HIPSTER WHALE | Nintendo Co., Ltd. |
By our entirely fabricated metrics, Crossy Road wins the race to the bottom of your free time. Mario Kart Tour is the “responsible” choice, in the way that a slightly smaller slice of cake is responsible. There are no winners here. Only documented hours.
Pick Your Poison
Choose Crossy Road if...
Crossy Road remains a must-download for casual gaming fans who enjoy quick, satisfying gameplay loops and character collection mechanics. It's ideal for commuters, anxiety management, or anyone seeking a distraction that respects their time without demanding money. However, players with low data caps or low tolerance for mobile advertising should either enable airplane mode or purchase the ad removal pack immediately to avoid frustration.
Choose Mario Kart Tour if...
Mario Kart Tour is a fun and accessible mobile racer for casual fans of the series looking for a quick dose of karting fun on the go. However, players sensitive to aggressive monetization and gacha elements may find the game frustrating and should approach it with caution.
Get Crossy Road
Get Mario Kart Tour
Every stat above is affectionately invented. The apps are real, the regret is real, the numbers are vibes. “Requires: stable Wi-Fi, poor impulse control, and a willingness to question your life choices at 2 AM.”