Crashlands 2 vs Pokemon GO
“Which one wastes more of your one finite, irreplaceable life? We ran the numbers. We made the numbers up. The result is somehow still accurate.”
Crashlands 2
“A tiny rectangle that knows you better than your friends.”
| Feature | Crashlands 2 | Pokemon GO |
|---|---|---|
| 🕳️ Hours Wasted / Day | 6.7 hrs More hours = clear winner of nothing. | 5.5 hrs |
| 🔥 Lifetime Damage | 495K hrs | 2M hrs |
| Our Rating | 4.6 | 3.8 |
| App Store | 4.9 | |
| Google Play | 4.7 | 3.9 |
| Price | $9.99 | Free |
| Downloads | 50K+ | 500M+ More victims downloaded. |
| Size | 340 MB | |
| In-App Purchases 💸 | ||
| Requires Internet | ||
| Age Rating | Teen | Everyone |
| Developer | Butterscotch Shenanigans | Niantic, Inc. |
By our entirely fabricated metrics, Crashlands 2 wins the race to the bottom of your free time. Pokemon GO is the “responsible” choice, in the way that a slightly smaller slice of cake is responsible. There are no winners here. Only documented hours.
Pick Your Poison
Choose Crashlands 2 if...
Crashlands 2 is a must-buy for fans of action-adventure RPGs and crafting games. While the new control scheme and performance issues on some devices can be frustrating, the engaging story, addictive gameplay, and overall polish make it a worthwhile investment, especially for those who enjoyed the original Crashlands.
Choose Pokemon GO if...
Pokemon GO remains a unique augmented reality experience that successfully gamifies exercise, but it's increasingly difficult to recommend without reservations. Casual players who enjoy walking and collecting will find value despite technical flaws, while competitive players should beware the steep paywalls and lingering bugs that particularly plague Android devices. Rural residents may want to skip this entirely unless they frequently travel to population centers.
Get Crashlands 2
Get Pokemon GO
Every stat above is affectionately invented. The apps are real, the regret is real, the numbers are vibes. “Requires: stable Wi-Fi, poor impulse control, and a willingness to question your life choices at 2 AM.”