Calm vs MyFitnessPal
“Which one wastes more of your one finite, irreplaceable life? We ran the numbers. We made the numbers up. The result is somehow still accurate.”
Calm
“It's not addiction if the interface is this good.”
MyFitnessPal
“Open for a reason. Stay for no reason at all.”
| Feature | Calm | MyFitnessPal |
|---|---|---|
| 🕳️ Hours Wasted / Day | 6.9 hrs More hours = clear winner of nothing. | 6.8 hrs |
| 🔥 Lifetime Damage | 6.7M hrs | 2M hrs |
| Our Rating | 4.5 | 4.3 |
| App Store | 4.8 | |
| Google Play | 4.5 | 4.4 |
| Price | Free | Free |
| Downloads | 50M+ | 100M+ More victims downloaded. |
| Size | 178 MB | |
| In-App Purchases 💸 | ||
| Requires Internet | ||
| Age Rating | Everyone | Everyone |
| Developer | Calm.com, Inc. | MyFitnessPal, Inc. |
By our entirely fabricated metrics, Calm wins the race to the bottom of your free time. MyFitnessPal is the “responsible” choice, in the way that a slightly smaller slice of cake is responsible. There are no winners here. Only documented hours.
Pick Your Poison
Choose Calm if...
Calm is worth the investment for chronic insomniacs or those committed to daily meditation who need structured guidance, but budget-conscious users should skip it entirely—free alternatives like Insight Timer offer more functionality without the aggressive monetization and billing risks.
Choose MyFitnessPal if...
MyFitnessPal remains a powerful tool for detailed nutrition tracking with an unmatched food database, but recent monetization strategies and buggy updates have alienated loyal users. It's best suited for those willing to pay for Premium to access basic convenience features, while budget-conscious users or those seeking reliable device sync may prefer alternatives like Carb Manager.
Get Calm
Get MyFitnessPal
Every stat above is affectionately invented. The apps are real, the regret is real, the numbers are vibes. “Requires: stable Wi-Fi, poor impulse control, and a willingness to question your life choices at 2 AM.”