Bitwarden vs Evernote
“Which one wastes more of your one finite, irreplaceable life? We ran the numbers. We made the numbers up. The result is somehow still accurate.”
Bitwarden
“Designed to be opened once. Statistically, it won't be.”
Evernote
“A tiny rectangle that knows you better than your friends.”
| Feature | Bitwarden | Evernote |
|---|---|---|
| 🕳️ Hours Wasted / Day | 5.8 hrs More hours = clear winner of nothing. | 5.5 hrs |
| 🔥 Lifetime Damage | 5.3M hrs | 105.2M hrs |
| Our Rating | 4.5 | 3.9 |
| App Store | ||
| Google Play | 4.8 | 3.5 |
| Price | Free | Free |
| Downloads | 5M+ | 100M+ More victims downloaded. |
| Size | ||
| In-App Purchases 💸 | ||
| Requires Internet | ||
| Age Rating | Everyone | Everyone |
| Developer | Bitwarden Inc. | Evernote by Bending Spoons |
By our entirely fabricated metrics, Bitwarden wins the race to the bottom of your free time. Evernote is the “responsible” choice, in the way that a slightly smaller slice of cake is responsible. There are no winners here. Only documented hours.
Pick Your Poison
Choose Bitwarden if...
Bitwarden remains the best value password manager for users seeking a free, open-source solution with robust cross-platform support. It's ideal for LastPass refugees and privacy advocates, though Android users should prepare for occasional autofill frustrations that may require manual workarounds.
Choose Evernote if...
Evernote's current iteration is a shadow of its former self. The aggressive monetization and performance issues make it hard to recommend, especially given the many other note-taking options available. If you're a long-time user heavily invested in the platform, consider carefully evaluating whether the cost justifies the functionality; otherwise, explore alternatives.
Get Bitwarden
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Every stat above is affectionately invented. The apps are real, the regret is real, the numbers are vibes. “Requires: stable Wi-Fi, poor impulse control, and a willingness to question your life choices at 2 AM.”