Apple Music vs YouTube Music
“Which one wastes more of your one finite, irreplaceable life? We ran the numbers. We made the numbers up. The result is somehow still accurate.”
Apple Music
“Five stars from people who meant to stop an hour ago.”
YouTube Music
“Your favorite song, interrupted by an ad for the premium tier that removes the ad.”
| Feature | Apple Music | YouTube Music |
|---|---|---|
| 🕳️ Hours Wasted / Day | 1.5 hrs | 3.8 hrs More hours = clear winner of nothing. |
| 🔥 Lifetime Damage | 707.9M hrs | 868.3M hrs |
| Our Rating | 4.6 | 4.4 |
| App Store | 4.9 | |
| Google Play | 4.6 | |
| Price | Free | Free |
| Downloads | 5B+ More victims downloaded. | |
| Size | 6 MB | |
| In-App Purchases 💸 | ||
| Requires Internet | ||
| Age Rating | 12+ | Teen |
| Developer | Apple | Google LLC |
By our entirely fabricated metrics, YouTube Music wins the race to the bottom of your free time. Apple Music is the “responsible” choice, in the way that a slightly smaller slice of cake is responsible. There are no winners here. Only documented hours.
Pick Your Poison
Choose Apple Music if...
Apple Music is the definitive choice for audiophiles invested in Apple's ecosystem who prioritize sound quality over social features. However, users requiring seamless multi-device handoff or sophisticated discovery algorithms may find Spotify offers a more polished experience despite inferior audio fidelity.
Choose YouTube Music if...
YouTube Music is a solid option, especially for YouTube Premium subscribers who want centralized access to music and video content. However, free users should prepare for frequent ads, and all users should be aware of the potential for occasional technical hiccups and algorithm-related frustrations. Those highly prioritizing a truly random shuffle experience might explore alternatives.
Get Apple Music
Get YouTube Music
Every stat above is affectionately invented. The apps are real, the regret is real, the numbers are vibes. “Requires: stable Wi-Fi, poor impulse control, and a willingness to question your life choices at 2 AM.”