⚔️ Head-to-Head · Hours Wasted, Documented

ProtonMail vs Threema. The Secure Messenger

“Which one wastes more of your one finite, irreplaceable life? We ran the numbers. We made the numbers up. The result is somehow still accurate.”

ProtonMail

ProtonMail

Communication
★★★★☆4.3
874.5M
Lifetime Hours Wasted

Productivity sold separately.

vs
Threema. The Secure Messenger

Threema. The Secure Messenger

Communication
★★★★☆4.2
1.9M
Lifetime Hours Wasted

The app you'll delete on Sunday and reinstall on Monday.

📊 The Damage Report
CaracterísticaProtonMailThreema. The Secure Messenger
🕳️ Hours Wasted / Day5.4 hrs9.0 hrs
More hours = clear winner of nothing.
🔥 Lifetime Damage874.5M hrs1.9M hrs
Nuestra valoración4.34.2
App Store4.3
Google Play4.34.0
PrecioGratis$7.49
Descargas10M+
More victims downloaded.
5M+
Tamaño104 MB
Compras dentro de la app 💸
Requiere internet
Clasificación por edadEveryoneEveryone
DesarrolladorProton AGThreema GmbH
⚖️ The Verdict

By our entirely fabricated metrics, ProtonMail wins the race to the bottom of your free time. Threema. The Secure Messenger is the “responsible” choice, in the way that a slightly smaller slice of cake is responsible. There are no winners here. Only documented hours.

Pick Your Poison

💬

Elige ProtonMail si...

ProtonMail is a solid choice for privacy-conscious individuals who want to secure their email communications, and who mainly use the web or desktop versions. Frequent Android app users should consider its reported performance issues before fully committing, as reliability may vary.

🎵

Elige Threema. The Secure Messenger si...

If privacy and security are your top priorities, and you're willing to pay a one-time fee for a messenger app, Threema is a solid choice. However, if you need seamless multi-device support and rock-solid call stability, you might want to explore other options before committing.

Consigue ProtonMail

Consigue Threema. The Secure Messenger

⚠️ Fine Print Nobody Reads

Every stat above is affectionately invented. The apps are real, the regret is real, the numbers are vibes. Requires: stable Wi-Fi, poor impulse control, and a willingness to question your life choices at 2 AM.